E3 2011: Day 1

It's early here in downtown Los Angeles. Pre-dawn still. No one wakes up earlier during E3 week than I do. No, not even Reggie Fils-Amie, who may or may not be a kind of robot.

I'm up early because I always get up early. Man, do I ever enjoy that hour or two of quiet and peace--before the phone can ring, before the deluge of texts and emails and tweets and random, pointless information starts spraying all over the place--that only really happens in the early mornings. And that hour or two is especially important this week, during E3, when things start off loud and obnoxious--the Microsoft press conference, at the Galen Center on the USC campus, begins in less than three hours--and only get more so from there.

I'm here to see, and touch, all the newest games, the latest technology, etc. But to be honest, all I really want to do is play the games that I already have in my possession. At E3 every year, without fail, I have countless moments when I wish that I could, like Dorothy, click my heels and magically transport myself back to my couch on Beatty Street where I will continue trying to get all five of the lights in that one particularly hairy race in Blur.

I can't do that, of course. What I can do is bring a ridiculous amount of games to E3 with me. I have the PSP go, 3DS, iPhone, and iPad all with me. I do this every year. I think a lot of us do this. I decided on the plane down from Vancouver yesterday that Dead or Alive: Dimensions was going to be my obsession for the week. And if it should fail me at all at any point, Super Stickman Golf, Coin Drop and Pixeljunk Monsters--damn you, Dylan Cuthbert--are all right there to pick up any slack.

I'm also carrying Pilotwings Resort, Advance Wars: Days of Ruin, Mario Kart DS, LEGO Star Wars III 3DS, GTA: Chinatown Wars (DS version), and for some inexplicable reason Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies.

I know. Embarrassing.

I remember once saying to Vic that we should do some kind of cooking show for gamers. You know, how to cook something healthy and delicious in the time it takes for DCU Online to update, etc. He asked me if I loved cooking. "Of course I don't love cooking," I said. "I hate cooking. And I'm terrible at it."

He said, "All I know is if you want to make a TV show about something, you'd better love it. Because you have to deal with it every single day, no matter if you're in the mood to or not."

So I'm heading out into my day, slouching towards the lumbering beast of E3 2011, with no less than three gaming systems on my person, with game cartridges stuffed into practically every opening in my pants, while dealing with the completely irrational fear that somehow, some way all my systems will suddenly lose their charges simultaneously, rendering me game-less in the midst of the one place on earth where there could not possibly be a higher games per square foot ratio.

If that's not love, I don't know what is.